Thanks to Ann Coulter, people this week are debating the use of the word 'faggot' in polite company. As a gay man, this is something that often comes up in conversation, and which I've thought a lot about. So, here are my thoughts on the word 'faggot.'
Faggot, and its derivative fag, are the deepest and most hurtful of the slurs used against gay men. Unlike words like queer, gay, homoSEXual (preferred by Baptist ministers), or even fairy, faggot has no usefulness except as a slur. Sure it's been co-opted by some gay men -- just as nigger has by black men -- who use it casually to dampen it's sting. But faggot is still sharp, biting, and hurtful. Even the gay men who call each other 'fag' as a joke, do so with haunting memories of times when it wasn't a joke. You can see it in their eyes.
For that reason, I never use the word faggot. I don't even like the term 'fag hag,' which is doubly-offensive because it calls my girlfriends 'hags.' (I prefer 'fairy princess.')
I don't make a big deal of it, and I don't make a practice of policing people's speech. However, as far as I'm concerned, faggot should be stricken from our vocabulary. Whether it's used by a gay man or a political hack, faggot is irredeemably horrid.
Incidentally, I'm not one of those people who uses 'n-word' and 'f-word' when talking about these words that shouldn't be used in polite company. To me, that's like the Hogwarts kids whispering about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named -- it just gives the evil in our world even more power.